[Me, having disappeared for a wee afternoon nap]
Donkey: Jude?
Me: Burrowing under the covers.
Donkey: Jude?
Me: Burrowing farther under the covers.
Donkey: JUDE!!!
Me: 👀
Donkey: [Entering bedroom with arm full of clean laundry] ... AHA!
Me: [Mumbling] Hmm? What?
Donkey: You disappeared.
Me: I came for a wee nap.
Donkey: You've been gone two hours. That's not a nap. That's a bloody great sleep!
Me: I was tired?
Donkey: Didn't you get enough sleep last night?
Me: I was up at 7:00. I fed the cats, cleaned the kitchen.
Donkey: I got up and went to church to pray for our sins.
Me: Well NEXT week you can pray for another one.
Donkey: Oh, and what might that be?
Me: My sloth.
Donkey: The service isn't long enough. Get up. I need the sheets for the laundry.
Me: [Muffled]. I'm still using them.
Donkey: But they need to be stripped, washed and put back on before we can go to bed tonight.
Me: TBH, Donkey, we have more than one set of sheets...
Donkey: I like the ones currently on the bed.
Me: So do I. I'm still using them.
Donkey: Get up! I need to strip the bed.
Me: Well strip YOUR side of the bed. I'm still using mine.
Donkey: You are in the middle lane of a two-lane bed!
Me: Oh. So what exactly are you saying?
Donkey: [Treading water]. Nothing. Get up!
Me: No.
Donkey: How long before you're done "napping"?
Me: The longer you pester me, the longer I'll "nap".
Donkey: How about I make you a sandwich and a nice cup of tea?
Me: Now you're talking...
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