Hair Cut

Me:  I’m going to get my hair cut.
Donkey:  I should probably drive you.
Me:  Because?
Donkey:  Well Paul (friend since high school) said there’s a really nice bakery near there.
Me:  But I am going to get my hair cut.
Donkey:  Well number sign two birds one stone.😋
Me:  Number sign?
Donkey:  Yeh. You know. That tic tac toe thingy.
Me:  Hashtag?
Donkey:  Yeh. That thing. I can go check out the bakery while you get your hair cut.
Me:  What’s for dinner? Doughnuts?
Donkey:  Well no, but as you neglected to bring a pie home from knit night, I just naturally thought, you know, perhaps you would appreciate something sweet for afters.
Me:  Oh so you’re thinking of ME.
Donkey:  Yeh. always..🙃
[fast forward to donkey exiting bakery]
Donkey:  POP THE TRUNK!!!
Me:  Why???
Donkey:  SCORE!!!
Me:  Huh?
Donkey:  They sell CHEESECAKE FACTORY CHEESECAKE!!! NUMBER SIGN POP THE TRUNK!
Me:  Hashtag...

[so we are having double chocolate cheesecake for afters]

Knit Night

Me:  I don't really feel like going to Knit Night tonight.
Donkey:  What??? Why not? You can leave early if you're tired.
Me:  Well, another group is holding an event there that has nothing to do with Knit Night and it's going to be a zoo. There might be parking issues.
Donkey:  What kind of event?
Me:  A pie auction thing.
Donkey:  Pie? PIE? What kind of pie?
Me:  You know, peach pie, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, pineapple pie, pistachio pie, pizza pie, mince tarts...
Donkey:   🤔 Hmmm. It would be impolite not to bring a pie home.
Me:  But I don't feel like going.
Donkey:  Yes, but IF you were to go, you know, you might want to bring a pie home. You know, to be polite and all.
Me:  Somehow, I don't think courtesy is a motivating factor.
Donkey:  What are you saying?
Me:  I think we both know.
Donkey:  Wounded. Wounded I am.
Me:  Greedy. Greedy you are.
Donkey:  Here's your knitting. Let me get your coat.  Have a great time.  Bring home pie.😚

Donkey's Love of All Things Sweet

Donkey and I were on our way home from an early appointment one day and had agreed that we would go straight home to have lunch.  Donkey pulled into a doughnut shop which was on our way home...

Me:  I thought we were going to be careful and not pull into the doughnut shop.
Donkey: Well I can just use this parking spot to turn around and exit.
Me: Yes, okay, let’s do that. 
Donkey: It would be impolite not to go in and say hi. 
Me: Two orange crullers it is, then?
Donkey: Well someone needs to buy them so they don’t stop making them. 
Me: So according to your logic, we’re taking one for the team?
Donkey: I don’t want them to go under on my watch. 
Me:  Fair enough.  Better get four.